Way Too Early Predictions for Star Wars: Episode IX

Image result for rey finn scared

With Episode IX starting filming shortly, the Star Wars Shadow Council is pleased to give you our absurdly early predictions for the film.

Shadow Council

  • The movie will be set no later than 1 year after TLJ
  • Rey will be revealed to be Luke’s daughter
  • Rey’s mother was from Lew’el
  • Rey will return to Ahch-To at some point
  • On Ahch-To she will return to the mirror cave at high tide, this time the cave will give her answers
  • Kylo bears some responsibility for Rey being left on Jakku
  • Luke will return as more than just a mere Force Ghost
  • Luke and Rey will fight Kylo and the knights of Ren on Ahch-To
  • The philosophy of the new Jedi will be a mix of the Philosophy of the Jedi that we know and the Tide Philosophy of Le’wel
  • Rey will reforge the Skywalker saber in some way
  • Finn and Rey will at very least be implied to be a romantic couple by the end of the movie
  • Lando will show up along with his daughter

Sprinkles

  • Rey gets a double-bladed saber
  • Kylo’s hair is changed dramatically
  • Rey’s mother was from Lew’el
  • The character of Flux shows up at some point
  • Rey says “I am a Jedi, like my father before me.”
  • Finn and Rey have one (1) kiss
  • Poe will have a male romantic partner or love interest, either onscreen or referenced offscreen
  • We see at least one scene of a significantly younger Luke, played by Mark Hamill in mo-cap
  • In each trilogy so far, there are two notable moments of characters screaming “NOOOOO!!!” (Obi Wan seeing Qui-Gonn’s death, Vader learning Padme is dead; Luke seeing Obi-Wan’s death, Luke learning Vader is his father). Luke will become the second person in this trilogy to have an iconic ‘NOOOO!!!” moment (after Rey screams it witnessing Han’s death) when he learns that his wife and child have been killed in this same flashback.
  • Luke returns in a form that allows him to hug Rey. Which he does. This form will heretofore be referred to as GhostDad™.
  • Anakin makes an appearance
  • Obi Wan also makes an appearance
  • Harrison Ford appears in a flashback
  • John Williams will compose a piece incorporating both Luke and Rey’s theme
  • Lando’s daughter will appear, and be played by Tessa Thompson
  • We will discover that the shot of Young Rey we saw in the Forceback in TFA was not her being separated from her family for the first time, but rather her coming close to being reunited with them after months or years on Jakku, but not reaching their ship before it flew away.
  • Ben is on the ship, and we see a shot of him closing the door in Rey’s face as she approaches, mirroring the end of TLJ.
  • There is an outside force of some kind keeping Rey’s Force sensitivity dormant on Jakku, and it is the same reason Luke was unable to find her and thought she was dead.
  • The fact that Starkiller Base=Ilum will be alluded to, but not explained outright
  • Luke’s compass will be explained further, and its function will play a small, but significant role in the plot.
  • The Falcon being on Jakku was a coincidence, and will not be brought up
  • The Falcon does not make it out of the ST alive
  • Kylo Ren ends the film alive, but in exile of some sort.
  • SNOKE=PLAGUEIS. IT’S BACK ON, BABY.
  • Exactly one of Pale’s predictions will come true

Pale

  • Poe Dameron, while on Yavin IV, finds his mother’s old A-Wing. He puts her ring on it somewhere.
  • Lando is killed alongside the Falcon, where he apologizes to L3 for trapping her inside it.
  • The phrase ‘time travel’ is mentioned by Force Ghost Anakin.
  • Lando does another vlog, making another Legends reference.
  • Snap Wexley mentions Jyn Erso.
  • The final scene of the film shows Broomboi, a fully fledged Jedi Youngling, wandering the streets of Naboo. He comes across an old chest, opens it up, and finds a hologram of Padmé Amidala, played by a de-aged Natalie Portman. She speaks of the importance in always keeping evil in check, even where you least expect it. Broomboi smiles, and takes the holocron. End credits. The scene splits the fandom in two, despite the overall movie being well-received.
  • The movie starts on Naboo, and ends on Naboo.
  • Wedge Antilles makes a string of references to the X-Wing series.
  • There’s a flashback to the Battle of Endor, through the eyes of Wicket, played by Warwick Davis. Shara Bey is seen.
  • There is only one newly cast character who is announced before the film is released. It’s not Keri Russell, but rather a woman of Indian descent.
  • Caro Calrissian and Skymom’s castings are kept secret before the release of the film.
  • The word ‘Skywalker’ and ‘Resistance’ are never mentioned in the film.
  • Kylo Ren is attempting to enact Project Black Saber, which will wipe out the entire galaxy of all life. The project was first mentioned in Rogue One. Bob Iger made the push to include the plotline as a way to capitalize on the success of Infinity War.
  • The movie begins with Rose telling Finn that she understands he has feelings for Rey.
  • Rose Tico pilots her own ship alongside Caro, and Lando in the Falcon. Rose makes a huge step in disabling the Black Saber.
  • Rose and Caro share a lesbian kiss on-screen.
  • Chewbacca’s fate is left unclear.
  • Snoke is never mentioned at all. A thing of the past.
  • Podracing is mentioned.
  • Colin Trevorrow is listed as an executive producer.
  • The film is set six months after The Last Jedi.

robotical712

  • Set one to six months after The Last Jedi.
  • The surviving Resistance has made little progress recruiting allies.
  • Rey, Finn and Poe are together at the start and do a mission together.
  • In the mirror cave, she fights and defeats a sea monster (seen in the background in TLJ).
  • This time the mirror shows her true greatest fear – her long suppressed memories.
  • The mirror shows Ben’s betrayal and her mother’s death are revealed (years before the academy massacre).
  • Luke felt Rey was to be his successor and Ben felt jealous.
  • Despite the Force telling him not to, Luke decided to train Ben anyway.
  • Poe and Finn team up to find and contact Lando.
  • The First Order fleet arrives over Ahch-To and Finn and Poe arrive just in time with allies Lando organized.
  • Hux intends to destroy the island and everyone on it, including Kylo.
  • The opposing fleets engage.
  • Kylo defeats Rey and is ready to kill her when his mother appears.
  • Leia is recast, but only appears close to the end. She appeals to her son as his mother and he’s on the verge of returning.
  • However, Hux appears and shoots Leia. She dies in Kylo’s arms as a horrified Rey looks on.
  • Kylo will kill Hux.
  • Finn appears and stops Rey from attacking Kylo.
  • Under Poe’s leadership, the rebels inflict substantial losses on the First Order fleet.
  • Kylo orders the First Order to withdraw. Both sides aware the war has only begun.

HypersonicHarpist

  • Rey will face a sea monster in the mirror cave
  • While fighting the sea monster Rey will stick something in its mouth to prop its jaws open just like Luke did while fighting the Rancor
  • Luke will return in a fully physical form (though he might be able to phase in and out of Force Ghost form and physical form) shortly after Rey goes to the cave and learns the truth about her relationship with him.
  • Luke will teach Rey Lesson 3 while they are on Ahch-To together
  • Lesson 3 will focus on merging the Jedi philosophy and the Tide philosophy into a new balanced philosophy
  • It will be revealed that there is some sickness in the Force located in two locations: Jakku and out in the Unknown Regions
  • After fighting the Knights of Ren, Rey and Luke will head to Yavin IV and found the new Jedi there
  • The Force Tree on Yavin IV will play some role in the founding of the new Jedi (at very least the movie will end with the Sacred Texts inside the new living tree)
  • Luke will find a way (possibly using the Force tree) to increase Force Sensitivity in others
  • Finn will become a Jedi even though he wasn’t born Force Sensitive
  • Rey and Finn will be a romantic couple by the end of the movie
  • The final battle will take place on both Jakku and out in the Unknown Regions
  • L3’s brain being incorporated into the Falcon will be important in allowing Rey to navigate through the Unknown Regions to face down Kylo in the climax
  • Rey and Luke will heal the two places of sickness in the Force
  • There will be a reverse of Order 66 where the First Order Stormtroopers will rebel against the First Order and side with the Jedi
  • The Resistance will gain allies in the form of a motley group of spacers, smugglers, bounty hunters, and anyone else in the galaxy with an armed ship (Lando will be among them)
  • Kylo will be redeemed and go into self imposed exile at the end of the movie
  • The movie will end in the throne room on Yavin IV in a call back to the end of A New Hope

Silly theories (that might still be right):

  • JJ Abrams will have two characters say “I have a bad feeling about this” and two Wilhelm Screams to make up for neither being in The Last Jedi
  • There will be a hilarious “meeting the girlfriend’s dad” scene involving Luke and Finn

ravenclawmind

  • There will be at least one flashback involving Luke, Skymom, and young Rey.
  • Aya is Skymom (but she wasn’t actually 12 in Fishing in the Deluge).
  • The character of Flux will be mentioned, whether or not she is Aya.
  • Ben is partly responsible for Skymom’s death and/or Rey’s disappearance.
  • Rey and Finn will return to Jakku.
  • Unkar Plutt will provide at least some of the explanation for how Rey became stranded at Niima Outpost.
  • The Church of the Force will be mentioned.
  • There will be awkward comedic moments between Rey, Finn, and Rose. While there won’t be anything explicitly romantic between Rey and Finn, the movie will end with the implication that they end up together.
  • Poe will have a love interest, but they may only be mentioned in passing.
  • He will lead the Resistance in Leia’s stead, along with Connix.
  • Rey will repair the Skywalker lightsaber and make it double-bladed along with Luke’s green lightsaber.
  • Finn will use a lightsaber again.
  • Rey will return to Ahch-To and the mirror cave. The Caretakers will give her Luke’s belongings.
  • Lando will play a pivotal role in encouraging the rest of the galaxy to fight against the First Order.
  • Small pockets of local resistances have started to spread on many planets.
  • The time jump between VIII and IX is between six months and one year.
  • Kylo will end the film either imprisoned and cut off from the Force or in exile.
  • He will become more of a morally gray character, but not return to the light side completely.
  • Kylo will pilot the Falcon at some point.
  • Rey and Kylo will have another lightsaber duel.
  • Snoke is heavily implied to be Darth Plagueis, but it is unlikely he will ever return.
  • The character of Caro will be Lando’s daughter and half-Twi’lek.
  • Keri Russell is playing Skymom in flashbacks OR she is still alive.
  • Leia will have passed away from complications involving space sickness.
  • Luke will return as a corporeal Force Ghost, with Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Yoda in the background as a parallel to ROTJ.
  • Both Rey and Kylo dream of Luke. Rey feels as if Luke is trying to tell her something, which eventually leads her back to Ahch-To, and Kylo is haunted by his uncle. It is later revealed that they weren’t just dreams and Luke was actually communicating with them.
  • Old voiceover and/or footage of Carrie will be used for either flashbacks, Leia’s death, or Force Ghost Leia.
  • Han will appear in a flashback.
  • Both Naboo and Mustafar will be featured. Rey and Kylo have their final showdown on one of these planets, tying everything back to the prequel trilogy and the legacy of Anakin Skywalker.
  • Padmé will be mentioned.
  • A running gag will be Porgs in the Falcon.
  • The mysterious scene filmed during TLJ in Ireland was actually intended for IX, in which Kylo and the Knights of Ren will face down Rey and Luke on Ahch-To.
  • Finn will learn his birth name and true heritage.
  • He will lead a Stormtrooper uprising against the FO.
  • Inspired by Luke Skywalker, the galaxy will ultimately band together to help the Resistance and defeat the FO.
  • There will always be periods of darkness in the galaxy, but the Light will always triumph.

Conn8d

  • Snap will appear again but not Jess Pava
  • There will be a flashback to Luke’s Temple
  • Finn will have awesome hair
  • Rey will build a double bladed saber
  • Hux and Poe will face off somehow
  • There will be a Stormtrooper Rebellion
  • Someone loses a limb

Robotical712 Short Circuits:

  • To make up for Solo production cost overruns, space battles will be conducted by JJ Abrams, Mark Hamill and Oscar Isaac carrying around models and vocalizing the sound effects.
  • For the final battle against the First Order, Ewoks and Gungans will team up to help the Resistance.
  • Chewbacca will reveal he could speak Basic all along.
  • It’s revealed Snoke is part starfish and now there are two of him.
  • Zero lens flares will be harmed in the making of the movie.
  • The last hour of the movie will just be George Lucas giving a lecture on the Midichlorians and the Whills.
  • Rey will build the first quadruple bladed lightsaber.
  • A character will accidentally cut off their own hand.
  • Threepio, Artoo and BB8 will realize they have nothing to do with the constant wars of the organics and runoff in the Millennium Falcon.
  • Kylo will be defeated when a large number of fangirls and fanboys burst onto the set and carry Adam Driver off.

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